Every other person out there has or is in search of a boyfriend or girlfriend. I won’t get into the reasons for that need or want but something that happens after one gets such a desired person is very intriguing.
Some people find eternal bliss (I don’t get this part, how can one’s happiness depend on another one? But this is still not the issue I want to talk about.) But there are some who change in a relationship, which is also perfectly natural. What I really want to focus on is the abuse one experiences in a not-so-happy relationship.
A girl whose boyfriend borrows money from her and never returns it and beats her up if she ever asks for it back is an obvious example. She is tortured both physically and mentally in her relationship. There are people who KNOW that they’re not really happy in the relationship but they still won’t end it because they fear being alone. Some don’t even realise that physically hurting someone isn’t the only abuse that exists; mental torture is more common and better hidden, yet more harmful.
‘Emotional blackmail’- just two simple words. But do we really go to the depths of it? ‘If you love me, you would have blah blah blah”, “if you thought of me as someone special, you would have been there for me, fuck your priorities”. I thought people we consider special encourage us, not bring us down. Why would such a person force you to do something or maybe not do something you consider important? Just to satisfy his ego, that he makes the decisions for you, that he is most important?
People in these relationships sometimes mistake the abuse for intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even seem flattering. Invading one’s privacy, like checking the phone frequently or getting angry or jealous often, count as abuses. Relationship abuse, just like any other abuse, can leave a person feeling isolated and lonely. Seen that movie Pyaar Ka Panchnama? Don’t the three girls abuse their respective boyfriends in that movie? Admit it or not, that is way more common than one would accept.
Love is not abuse, and we should never mistake it for the latter. We choose to be in a relationship in hope that it will make us better persons. If it does not, we have every right to end it and get out of it.
