Saturday 20 December 2014

First Solo!

One circuit, two
A little better than yesterday
Third was a go-around
Fourth and fifth better than okay

Last circuit a full-stop
On taxiway, sir asks me
“You sure you feel confident?”
“Yes, definitely.”

“Requesting for cadet’s first solo,
One more circuit.” He says on RT
“Confirm first solo?” “Affirm”
He releases the PTT

He gets off
Goes to ATC
It’s just me now
I close the canopy

I taxi to holding point
Runway 04 via Papa-2
I thought I would be scared
But that was far from true

On base or finals,
Aircrafts are none
I ask for line-up
After run-up checks are done

“VT-NFI, ready for departure”
“VT-NFI cleared to take-off, runway 04”
Rolling on centerline, 
I give full power

Static RPM reaches and speeds come alive
At 59, I rotate
The aircraft feels lighter
I climb straight ahead

The 500’ checklist-speed increases, power reduced
At 1700’ AGL,
A turn is made
Aircraft then trimmed for level

Another turn,
Downwind checks
Parallel to runway,
Nothing complex

“On left downwind runway 04,
Will call you on base”
“Roger”
He says.

Abeam threshold, power is reduced
Flaps deployed, descend has begun
Another turn, prop full
Another call is done

Another turn and final call,
“VFI cleared to land”
Final checks- on approach
All going as planned

Two reds and two whites
Speed has to be proper
No instructor this time,
No room for any error

Low enough, on the runway,
I look far straight
Round out at correct height,
Cut power and wait

Aircraft floats-starts to sink
I flare and hold correct-
Mainwheels touch the ground
The landing-oh so perfect!

19th December, 2014- I had the first solo flight of my life on VT-NFI, a Diamond 40. The 6 minute circuit was not very demanding, but it shall be remembered for eternity…
As the day I earned my wings!


Sunday 24 August 2014

Prologue to 'Through My Eyes' by Ashoki


“He’s God; living God on Earth.”
Did I believe it then? Not at all.
When that Uncle told me about Guruji many years ago, I was as sceptic as anyone. Being a literate, worldly businessman, I couldn’t just digest the notion that the man in the photo, which I was being shown, was God.
The man in the photo had no hair on His head, had a little squint in His eyes and a look of amusement on His face. God? Sure, He looked smarter than the average Indian man, but no way did He look anything like the picture of God I had in my mind! No long flowing hair, no snake around the neck, no Ganges flowing from the head, no Trishul in His hand. How could this be Shiv?
Yes, I had a lot of speculations. But there was one question that nagged me- if He really is God, can I afford to lose Him?

No, not a chance. And it wasn’t like anyone could make a fool out of me just by entangling me with myths and lore. That’s when I decided to go take a look, just in case. I had nothing to lose anyway. 

Thursday 5 June 2014

I am a girl and I want to become a Pilot.

Those two phrases when put together raise a lot of eyebrows. A pilot is supposed to be this hotshot macho man in a uniform, manning a plane like a, well, man. So when people hear my career choice, they are skeptic.
That sometimes makes ME skeptic. Is it possible to fly? Can I really be one of those who sit in a cockpit and have that air of confidence around them? During my interview, I was told that 80% of the people who join the flying academy are boys. So was my gender going to pull me down from achieving or even dreaming my dream?
Hell no.
It’s a challenge to go up against the society norms. “You’re supposed to have a family and take care of the house and be a literally down to earth person.” Well, I would accept and abide by this if my brother does too. If he can fly, so can I. Simple as that.
I have heard a lot of people taunting pilot aspirants, “you must be filthy rich, that’s why you’re going to fly”, “you must suck at studies, that’s why you aren’t taking up something more challenging”, “you must not be ambitious at all” and on and on it goes. I would like to break some of these prejudices.
Someone who is filthy rich can take up any career option he or she likes, just like someone who is not so filthy rich can. Education is an investment to an extent and a flying school is a SCHOOL which means it is a part of one’s education. And if you think that someone who is dumb in school can easily become a pilot, you’re highly mistaken. We need to give exams before we get our license and to renew our license every few months, we need to give those exams again. It’s a continuous study. We are fit and healthy people because we control an aircraft which flies 30 thousand feet above the ground. We are responsible for the 100-200 people on board and we take that responsibility very seriously.
Talking about ambition, sometimes travelling can be one’s ambition. Earning money is another. Sure, we may not get famous but does everybody in any job get fame so easily? No. a pilot’s job is as ambitious as a banker’s job- aim is to earn good money and live life happily.
Yet at times, we need motivation to keep going. It’s challenging to not know what to expect. Every flight is the same yet different. Weather conditions, the aircraft itself, the air traffic controller…there are so many factors and so many people who contribute to a safe flight. We are trained to manage the worst; we are trained to be calm and patient. We are trained to be spontaneous and make quick yet well calculated decisions. It’s scary to have that much pressure. And we are trained to not buckle in that kind of pressure.
Like any other field, the more knowledge you have, the safer you feel. So gaining knowledge is a first. Watching Air Crash Investigations episodes on YouTube or reading From the Ground Up by Sandy Macdonald are just a few ways by which a student can know more and more about flying. Experience on the other hand, just like in any other field, counts the most. Keeping oneself updated about aviation news and reading aviation novels like those by Glenn Meade and Ronan Ray also keeps one hooked. A pilot is not supposed to build a plane. But without a pilot, an airplane engineer’s job is a waste. The world needs some kickass fearless people who are ready to take up challenges and fly into the unknown (not literally; today we have almost the entire airspace mapped. But you get my point)
Watching a crew walk by the long queues of passengers is a sight I would always look at with awe. It’s evident in the way they speak that they know what they’re doing and they are well prepared. There is something so awesome about their uniform and the epaulettes on their shoulders. There is something so utterly sexy about the way they carry themselves.

A dream is an illusion of the sub conscious mind for some people. But for some others, a dream is what keeps them alive and going. And my dream? My dream is to fly, over the rainbow so high!

Monday 12 May 2014

I Don't Miss My Mom.

Yes, it’s as simple as that.
It’s not like she was a bad mother. It’s not like I was not attached to her. Maybe she was; maybe I was. But does it matter right now, at this very moment?
She isn’t around me, she isn’t loving me, she isn’t taking care of me right now. Her role in my life ended six months ago. Maybe I am being a rude daughter; maybe it seems like I never loved her. The fact is, she isn’t here.  
Am I angry at her for that? Am I feeling abandoned? Not at all.
My life changed in these last six months. I got a new family. I never had sisters; I got 3 sisters. I never had older brothers; I got 3 of them. I never knew what it was like to have a grandmother living in the house. Now I do. I never knew how much fun it is to have a baby around. Now I know. I always lived in a nuclear family. Now I live I a joint one, that too a huge one. I have never seen my house so full. Now it’s not my house; it belongs to ten more people.
Maa is not here, so what? People who are here, they matter. Have I forgotten her? So soon? Maybe, maybe not. Does it really matter?
Her death taught me that life can’t be taken for granted. She went away so abruptly, so suddenly, that there was never any time for a goodbye. And why can’t the same fate be mine? What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?
If today was my last day, would I spend it crying for someone who-wait. Let’s end it here-would I spend it crying? No I would not. So is ‘missing Maa’ a check on the to-do list? Am I considered a bad daughter if I don’t miss someone who lived with me for 20 years?
Is being emotional as per the society’s notions the only reaction I should be giving? Should I be crying for my mother just because I should be crying for my mother?
That’s not what my father taught me. That’s not how I grew up to be. My mom made me independent, ready to take on the world alone if need be. She would be proud of me. Then again, who knows? It’s not my headache to assume what my late mother would be thinking of me right now. That’s just stupid.
Right now, I have a full house. Right now, nothing in my house is amiss. Right now, everyone around me is laughing. Someone is cooking good food, someone is dancing away to the new Honey Singh song, someone is teaching someone about the new gadgets in town and this baby? She is laughing just because she wants to. She doesn’t know that a member of the family is not around.  She lives in the present. She smiles and laughs and bangs her head into other peoples’ heads. She’s happy.
So am I.
And to feel guilty about being happy? No, that’s not how we are. Happiness for us doesn’t lie outside. Happiness for us isn’t even bound with a person. Happiness for us is believing that right now, at this very moment, we are alive. That is reason enough to celebrate. Happiness is focussing on the part that is HERE and not at the part that isn’t. Happiness is contagious. And we are highly infected people.

Being happy is not a goal for us; it isn’t time bound or condition based. Being happy for us is just being. Right here, right now, at this very moment. 

Sunday 2 March 2014

It's a Good Life.

What I learnt from the BDC in the last few months:
1.       It’s okay to cry. But it’s more okay to smile. It’s a habit, not a necessity.
2.       Keep yourself entertained. Otherwise Vinni is always there to take the lead.
3.       Have Hit fights. Or polish fights. It keeps your laughter muscles in good working condition.
4.       It’s totally okay to indulge in death humour. If something is kept ‘safe’ in some cupboard, it’s okay to say that we should call Maa and ask her. And then to say that the line is busy at the moment.
5.       Good food is very important for life. Learn to cook like Wifey, or drive away to Faridabad.
6.       Parties are also important. Going to Goa is a nice idea once in a while.
7.       Sleeping excessively is always easy. But then, it’s a waste of time.
8.       Sitting on your wife or putting your kid in a bucket are good entertainment practices.
9.       General knowledge should be a priority. Otherwise people will take your case and not let you live. Read the paper.
10.   Half-smile or scratching the head all the time will make us call you GB and no, you don’t want that.
11.   Leaving your in-laws/baby/family/a rented house are not sacrifices if you get to live here on a full-time basis. This is a party house, admit it.
12.   It’s okay to call any random ugly girl as Zehreeli.
13.   Walking regularly is important. But we will still love you if you have elephant thighs, don’t worry.
14.   The babies in the house should not be manhandled. Or they can be; it’s fun.
15.   Cleanliness does not exist anymore. It’s okay. A messy house is better than an empty house.
16.   Birthday celebrations may involve balloon fights on the road, face-in-the-cake moments and 1000 pictures.
17.   Each time you visit your hair laser clinic, it’s okay to post your Rajnikant style photo in the group. It’s proof that you’re not sleeping in Saket but are actually busy; that’s why you didn’t come to office.
18.   Not bathing for days is okay; no one cares.
19.   Pink pajamas with pink jackets are totally in. Really, I mean it.
20.   Keeping quiet in an argument makes the definition of an argument void.
21.   There should be a designated person who decides what should be cooked for breakfast, lunch and dinner daily.
22.   No matter the number of people, there is always space in the house for everyone.
23.   Foreheads are not normally so big. It’s okay if you do; we still love you.
24.   It’s okay if you don’t get a beard at the age of 18. We won’t abandon you.
25.   Snowy is not a dog. Accept it.
26.   It’s nice to decide every morning which car you should drive today. We have a lot of variety.
27.   Weird songs and weird dances are most welcome, any time, any day. We value creative minds.
28.   Missing clothes are not really missing. They’re here only…somewhere.
29.   Little people are also interesting creatures.
30.   It’s good to talk. And listen. It makes you more intelligent.
31.   Jealousy is natural. But gaining victory over it is real satisfaction. He loves you more than you deserve anyway.
32.   Fitting on a single bed is not difficult. Fitting in a single car is also not difficult.
33.   If the house can function normally without her, the world can function without you too. Yes, that’s your value.
34.   Home food every day is not good for health.
35.   This time will also end. BDC may also end one day. But for now, this is real awesomeness.
36.   Never ever leave your Facebook account logged in.
37. Everything can be done in wholesale. Attending parties, shopping, or even going for medical check-ups. That's real unity.

Bitterness- Letting Go.

I think I’ve been splashing around in the water, fearing that I might drown, for a very long time now. I feel like I’ve been waiting for someone to come into the water and pull me to the shore. And if people just sit at the shore and watch, I shout at them, hating them for being safe. What I don’t realise is that for them, the depth isn’t visible. And what I don’t realise is that if I just float, the current will automatically take me to the shore.
I’ve been stupid; very stupid. I’ve let go of emotions which I should not have and I have held close the emotions I should have let go a long time ago. Fear, betrayal, loss, pain, abandonment, loneliness- just words aren’t they-simple to type, very hard to let go. I expected. I waited for them to-what? Pity me? No. To realise I’ve been through a lot? No; I read the paper and I am generally aware that what I went through wasn’t the worst of it all. There are worse situations one can find himself in. Then what had I been waiting for?
I have no answer to that, really.
To suffer after the worst is over, is purely one’s own choice. The human mind is capable of withstanding a lot of hard to understand situations. But the society isn’t. For them, death is scary. It’s a synonym for all those words which I mentioned above. But now, after four months, death is a truth of life. Life goes on, as always. I didn’t die with her, did I? I’m still living. And it is my choice whether I pity myself or I let go of that and smile. Not for them, but for myself. Because it’s true, no one does jump into the water to save you.
Also, now that I choose to float instead of splashing around for help, I realise that the view is brilliant when expectations aren’t fogging my vision. In the end, it’s a one-man show. Everyone stands (or floats) alone. Another important thing I now remember is that I can swim. Why do I even need help then?