Saturday 31 December 2011

Philosophy-ing much?


School was so safe. I had a known group of friends, the same ones over the years. Everyone knew everyone. But that same group of friends seems strange now. I wonder why. Was it me who changed? Or was it them? It’s just time. Their surroundings changed, the people around them changed. But I wish they hadn't changed. But change is inevitable. Too much change? :P
Everyone thinks they know best and that a little success on the plate gives them the right to become teachers of life. If things go well with anyone, they assume whatever they did was right. Whatever decisions they made, whatever choices they made, were right. It may be true, but I still feel time matters. Life is a circle of ups and downs. Everyone goes through good and bad times. But the thing is, people change with the times. Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? I’m not so sure.
I feel whatever good a person has, that is tested only in his bad times. If one retains that goodness in the worst of times, he comes out as a winner.
Ya, so, back to my point. When  all is well, people feel whatever they’re doing is right and thus they assume that their way of life is the best and must be followed and so they start preaching about life to life. But in truth, it’s time which makes a person intelligent or dumb. Sometimes, a person may work hard, try to make life his way, but it still doesn’t seem to work out. That’s life. But that doesn’t mean that the person is useless or is a loser, does it?
I would always want to remain a student of life. I would always want life to teach me, and not the other way round.
I say this right now. But when I too see my goals being pursued, I would also treat myself as God, won’t I? Very probable.
Because it's very easy to sit outside and judge people the whole time. It's when one gets pushed into the arena that his real test of character is taken. I'm somehow glad then that I didn't get 'success' so easily. Time will make me mature. Hopefully I will not repeat what I'm seeing right now, and not liking. 

Thursday 29 December 2011

zippyness



I'm lying on my bed
Staring up at the fan
Wondering outrageous things
Like why wasn't I born a man?

I feel like laughing aloud
Just like hyenas do
It might even be interesting
To round up my mouth and just go "moooooo"

I want to snort like a pig
(Though definitely not look like one)
I wonder if jumping like a kangaroo
Would be just as much fun.

I hear my stomach go "grrr"
I hope rats aren't running around
I wonder if I bark like my dog,
How similar we would sound.

It is extremely wondrous to wonder
About all things big and small;
To laugh at stupid random thoughts
And things that just don't make sense at all :P

Tuesday 27 December 2011

Pep-Talk


Stop.
Breathe.
Smile.
Have a good look at the people around you
Everyone has a story to tell
Just like you, they’re going through
Every kind of heaven and hell.
You gotta stop trying
To fit in or be liked and accepted
Time will show who is worth keeping
And who will walk with you ahead.
You gotta keep your head high
Open and welcoming
‘Cause the world has too much to share
Its really not fair
For you to always compare
You may like to keep some moments with you
And sometimes, you have to just not care.
You gotta be open and not so choosy
‘Cause you may not always get what you expect
You gotta fake it till you make it
‘Cause no, life isn’t perfect.
You gotta stop regretting
The choices you already made
You can’t keep living this way,
Feeling all betrayed and afraid.
Tomorrow is a brand new day
So leave the prejudices of today behind
You gotta live your life in play mode
You don’t have an option of forward and rewind.
Yes you can get back up
Go out there to find your spot
You gotta try to be happy
With whatever you got.
Don’t run away, it won’t solve a thing
You can definitely stay strong
It may seem like forever,
But actually it’s not been so long.
So hold on tight
Put your seatbelts on
Enjoy the show
‘Cause before you know,
It will already be over and gone.
Stop.
Breathe.
Smile.

Thursday 15 December 2011

Lost?



It’s one of those days when you look around you and see your friends busy in something or the other and you look at yourself and think, “What exactly am I doing with my life?”
I went out for lunch with some of my close college friends today and after roaming around the same area for an hour looking for a “new” place to hang out, we ended up eating at a Subway joint (at least we didn’t end up at McDonald’s like always). We were discussing how our lives have changed so much since college started. In school, talking to a cute guy or successfully answering the teacher’s question brought immense satisfaction to our minds. Here, now, out in the world, we feel useless. Everyone seems to be pursuing a worthwhile goal and we have no clue as to what we’re doing.
Do we want to accomplish something to prove to others that we’re not far behind? Look busy just for the sake of it? No, not really. It’s actually our own mental ego that we want to satisfy. We want to go home and sleep with a smug smile on our lips which says “I learnt a new thing today”.
We realised it’s a huge world. HUGE. There’s SO much to do! But here we sit, in front of the TV, cribbing about how life is so boring and unimaginative. We decided we were the only ones who could put an end to this. Get off our butts and actually DO something. Open our minds, explore ourselves, find out what we like and what we don’t, develop our thinking before we take up the challenges offered by the world.
We ended up borrowing books and DVDs of varied genres from the library, to “broaden our horizons”. Because, right now, we’re not really sure what our place in the world is. And we don’t need to. That will take the fun out of FINDING it. We motivated each other to not be a frog of the well, content with the small world we build around us. There’s a lot to do actually that 24 hours a day is so little time. We just need to keep our curiosity alive. Sure, presently, we might not be where we belong, because truthfully, we’re not sure of where we belong. But that’s ok. We can search. Sure, sitting at Subway talking about all the things we COULD do isn’t such a big deal. But the spark ignited. It’s a start.

Wednesday 14 December 2011

The Glass Parrot


A glass parrot kept on the table
So feeble, so delicate
But still most precious and valuable

A gust of irritation, a moment of anger
The parrot lies broken.
The shatters of perfection flashing in a blur

Soon, the temper subsides away
The glass pieces are collected
And infinite excuses- all that is left to say

Gradually the parrot is taped back
All is right yet imperfect
The most prized possession cracked

The mended parrot-
So delicate that one touch makes it fall
Or so strong that now it withstand anything at all?

Words


“It’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away”, Boyzone’s hit song still makes me sing along. “Pen is mightier than the sword”, is a saying almost everyone is familiar with. The power of words surpasses that of thought, but does it outdo that of actions?
We should always think before we speak, words once spoken cannot be taken back, blah blah blah.  Are those little traces of comprehensible language so important? I’m not talking about official work and treaties and signatures here. I’m talking about the power of words in any relationship.
My friend does something I don’t approve of. Do I reprimand her? But experience shows that one’s principles or creed changes with time and circumstances. Nothing is permanent. So if I say something which I did mean at one time but I don’t a few days later, does that make me a hypocrite? Is it better to not say anything at all then?
Sometimes speaking too much causes a problem and sometimes staying shut does.

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Home is the Base



I have a very open relationship with my father. We talk about anything and everything. Sometimes we talk about his school life, my school life, career, food, movies, just about anything. We also talk about God and how His blessings make life a better place. In the last one year, I’ve grown a lot closer to my father and our talks have become a lot more mature. Such conversations make me think and help me become a happier and more responsible human being. One such conversation was about love. Love and God are synonymous. To discuss one is to discuss the other.

For quite sometime, I had been feeling alone. Not talking to anyone, shutting myself up in a room all day, that kind of thing. I wasn’t ashamed to admit it, but I needed love. So I started to seek love from my friends. One day, it was one of my friend’s birthday and all of us had given her a surprise party. When I came back home, I cried. No, it wasn’t because of the party; the party was amazing but there was something nagging me from inside. I realized that none of my friends had ever done anything like that for ME.

My father saw me crying and he hugged me and told me he loves me. Then he went on to say that what I’m feeling is completely natural but it doesn’t have to be like that. He told me not to ever do anything for a friend if it makes me sad, because that will defeat the main purpose. “Don’t have expectations, expectations from people are the cause of frustration in life”, sounded like very clichéd words to me. Of course, everyone knows expectations aren’t good but isn’t it basic human nature to expect? If I love someone, I do something special for them; I would definitely expect something in return. To say I won’t, would be a lie. My father said that to live in this world, I need to be strong from within. Attaching myself so strongly to a person I barely knew for a year was not healthy on my part. It may be, when I’m older and more mature, but not now. He told me to first love the people who love me most, and then go on to love someone else. He said home is the base. He said I was very lucky and fortunate enough to have a living family, people I lived with. God gave us a family and instead of loving that family, we search for love outside. He told me how everything starts at home.

 And these words weren’t just words; for the next 1 month, both of us tried the ‘home is the base’ thing and it actually worked! I started to help my mother in the kitchen, she felt happy. I started to help my brothers in their homework, they become happy. My father started to talk to my mother lovingly, without fighting, without shouting. Our home became a happier place. All of us wanted love but we were busy seeking love from outside, with not much success. And then we found each other. Living in the same house for the past 17 years, we hadn’t really tried to nurture the relationships God had made for us. And now that we did, we realized we didn’t need anyone else. We started to give love, rather than expecting. And the easiest and safest place to try this out was our home.

Now I hear my friends complain about fights with their siblings or mother or father, and I realize how peaceful my house is. And that is all because of that one conversation that I had had with my father. It was a growing step not just for me, but for him and for the rest of my family too.

My father had also said ‘be strong from within’, something easier said than done. How exactly do I be strong? Cut off myself from everyone? Build this shell around me which no one can penetrate? But won’t that make me the same lonely self that I had been earlier?

My father said that this world is like a market. Every individual here had his own shop. He displays certain items for sale. But there was another catch. A person can put up for display something that he himself possesses. Some people have only anger, they display anger. Some people have only hurt, they display hurt. Some also have smiles and happiness and it is this stall which has the maximum sale. He said it is completely up to us to go around looking at this big fair, and take only that which pleases us.

A few days later, someone shouted at me. My temper rose but then I remembered my father’s words. That guy had anger on display. But I didn’t like the deal, so I didn’t take it. In return, I showed him what I had. I smiled at him. And it felt really good! And then it clicked, that is what ‘being strong’ is about! Being able to say ‘no’ to something you don’t like, because really, how can someone force you to take something you don’t want to? The power to be happy, to not take in hurt, lies within us only. And that makes us strong individuals.

All the conversations that I have with my dad, aren’t just mere ‘words of wisdom from the parents’, they are practical pieces of advice which my father has implemented himself and gotten great results. That’s why we talk about life and love in a very open way. There is always a logical explanation for doing something in a particular way. And in the end, it is not what you have achieved outside that matters, it’s what you possess from within which makes you a winner.

And it’s not just these 2-3 anecdotes which have affected me in a profound way. My father tells me that every day, every minute is a lesson that life gives you. It is an endless journey. Our pet dog greets us with great enthusiasm and jumps and licks, even if we leave her alone at home for the whole day. Shouldn’t we learn that from her? She doesn’t waste her time being angry with us, she’s just too happy to have us back.

“True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.” I can say that in the past one year, I have learnt to enjoy my own company more than anyone else’s and you know what? I’m loving it!